Monday, January 31, 2011

My first restaurant review!


Everyday that I wake up and remember my dreams, I am thankful.  Last night in my dream, I was back at the farm in Warren, N.J. One of the thousand places I have had the pleasure to call home throughout my lifetime. There was a beautiful sunset and one of my roommates was  excited to have found a rare perennial and was getting ready to plant it.  I asked if I could have a piece to plant myself and he gladly handed me a branch and showed me how to sow it.  Needless to say I woke up inspired! An interesting detail is that it is his birthday in a couple days and we haven't spoken in awhile.  I actually only found out it was his birthday, after my dream. 

What I realized was that my subconscious was telling me that I had gotten through some of my fears by letting go of things which no longer served me.  This dream was a reassurance that  I am finally headed in the right direction and that once again I can believe in friendship and move forward.  For awhile, I had terrible nightmares of being chased by someone or something that wanted to harm me.  I now know that the only harm chasing me were my fears of letting go and the walls I had built were keeping me stranded.  I was running away from myself!  My essence had been stained to the core, and that had left me exposed and weak to deal with my own demons.

I also looked up what it meant to dream of sowing and here is what I found: "To dream that you are sowing seeds, represents new beginnings or a major project for which you are laying the groundwork for.  The dream may also be a metaphor for sex or some sexual act.  Seeds, represents new". 

That is it!!!  My idea to publish a newspaper and the research I've been doing for it is helping me break through those walls.  I am learning!  I am growing!  Phew, what a relief! I was becoming a grumpy pessimist. 

The sex thing is a given, I am always thinking about sex.

So today I took the time to reflect on the last year of my life.  Thinking about where I was and where I am, reminding myself of the possibilities for change and becoming a better me. It is also planting season and as in my dream, I started sowing my seeds.  Today I planted cherry Tomatoes, Basil, English Thyme, Parsley and of course, more dreams.

Later I decided to make a delicious meal in my new pressure cooker.  While cooking, I was brought back to my grandmother's kitchen almost eighteen years ago.  The loud sound of the steamer, instantly reminded me of a simpler time, a time that I now strive for.

A panela de pressão gritando no meu ouvido, cheirinho de alho frito e Kid Abelha tocando na minha pandora.  Dezoito anos antes e eu me encontro na cozinha da minha avó, meu irmão na sala assistindo televisão e minha mãe correndo de um lado para o outro, limpando alguma coisa.  Meu pai, com certeza de cueca e se pendurando da porta para esticar o corpo e falando como isso faz bem para sua coluna.   Se tento forçar  a lembrança da minha infância, me encontro cheia de perguntas e esquecendo quase tudo. Mais quando vem assim derrepente, e como se eu estivesse voltado no tempo.

...It is now the next morning and I am finishing up yesterday’s post.  Had another dream, this time with friends that weren’t so encouraging and supportive and are no longer in my life.  In the dream, they did exactly as expected, thought of themselves and ran right over me.   Reflecting on both dreams and realizing their relevance, I concluded that it was only the beginning of my growth. 

The roads we travel are filled with obstacles and bad people.  Whether you choose to follow your dream and fight for what you believe in, or if you allow life to just carry you through, there will be hardships.  Bad people are everywhere because we are all bad.  Must us realize our faults and learn from our mistakes to be good.  Ultimately,  you control many things in your life. 

I just hope to have the strength to forgive myself and not to forget that I am human too.  I hope to grow and learn through all my experiences as I walk through life and evolve my soul as much as I can while I am here.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Books I recommend

So here I am...

...I've decided to make one of my dreams a reality and it is proving to be extremely challenging, even before I get started.  As I gather information from friends, family and the world wide web it feels as if I'm moving further and further away.  I have started with the attitude of pushing through all the obstacles and difficulties of this, and it is proving to be quite the challenge.

Will I have enough money to invest?  Will I be able to do this well?  Will I give people what they need and want or just what I think they do?  Thoughts and ideas race through my mind.  At this point, there is no turning back for me.  If I don't do this, someone else will and I will kick my self for the rest of my life and grow into a bitter old woman.  

The dream to bring together a community, to translate between the lines, to inform and educate.  Why should it be this hard?  I guess if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.  Thinking I could do it all by myself was silly, but now I know.  Less motivated people have accomplished more.  I will do this, I can do this!

So here it is, the time when everything will be decided and it is now that I will break through my first obstacle that is my mind and my will. Where to start?  I've spent the last three days reading through articles on the internet, and today I know more than I did then.  Still, it doesn't feel like it's enough.  

Next step.....get some advice from the professionals, the people who have made the mistakes and learned from them.  I'm sure I will have to learn through my own mistakes, however maybe I can bypass the ones they've made.  I think it's a good place to start.

Seja o que Deus quiser!!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Hope Nua: Do more yoga...

Hope Nua: Do more yoga...: "First time in months doing yoga and seeing my friend Jenna yesterday. I had heard of emotions pouring out of you during some pose..."

Do more yoga...

First time in months doing yoga and seeing my friend Jenna yesterday.  I had heard of emotions pouring out of you during some poses of yoga, however had never experienced it this way; I cried. 

**I interrupt this blog to say that I don't care what Professor Parke Junkle has mumbled. I much rather believe the Babylonian whom developed their reasoning and rationality beyond empirical observation. I was born a Virgo and will die one!**

I believe yoga will give me enough strength and confidence to follow my own path.  With so many interruptions and distractions, it is hard for a girl to keep focus.  I am finally out of my funk!  Chin chin to evolving into a better me and learning from my experiences.  Raising above and actually doing what I say and not just saying what I do; taking the bad and transforming it into something amazing.  I have seen plenty evil to where weakness can no longer surround me.  I can see clearly now and I am moving with arms wide open, regardless of the pinches.  Such only serve to keep me awake and to show me the way.  Wake up!  Open your eyes!  Life is running by and it's easy to miss it.  I am turning my head and stopping whenever it feels right, slowing down in order to see.  No longer trying to keep up but making it at my own pace.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Hope Nua: Green means go!

Hope Nua: Green means go!: "When it happens more than once, you have to start wondering and ask yourself if the entire town of Pacific Beach is out of it. Today w..."

Green means go!

When it happens more than once, you have to start wondering and ask yourself if the entire town of Pacific Beach is out of it.  Today while trying to make a left at the signal I got stuck behind a car that just sat there on a green light.  It didn't happen once, or twice--it happened three times in one day!!  Nothing annoys me more than slow drivers and people who just aren't paying attention while operating a vehicle.  Therefore, move out of my way!  This Jersey girl has places to be and people to see.

Monday, January 10, 2011

A hopeful day

Finally deciding to start my exercise routine this week to help me get out of the house, today I went for a walk with my new friend Tracy and her new baby Olive in my new neighborhood in Pacific Beach, San Diego.  Two hours later, and a new sense of direction for where the beach stood in relation to my house, I found myself extremely hopeful and an e-mail with a new job opportunity upon our return.  Starting to feel like myself again and hopeful that my motivation is back for good this time.  So here it is, my own blog and something I’ve wanted to do for years.  A place where I can express my thoughts, opinions and excersize my love for writing without restraint; not that I have much of it when it comes to speaking my mind anyway.  I have a feeling this will produce less sporadic Facebook statuses and a more productive me.  Here goes nothing!  Literally, Nua = nude in Portuguese—my mother language ;).